


The Shortest "Stiles, Why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" Sterek Fic Ever (Because Stuart Stilinski is a Blood Relation and Also Sick of Your Shit)

by FiccinDylan



Series: Sick of Your Shit Verse [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Don't worry, Harley was the black girl that Stiles talked to in the hall during season 1, Kinda, M/M, Sex Pollen, Stilinski Twincest, Stilinski Twins, but like, i stan for her so..., it's just dry humping, stuart stilinski is sick of your shit, try it, well actual, well not so dry, you might just like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:44:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Stiles!"  Derek breathes in heavily, inhaling the scent of his mate.  The cinnamon mixed with sweat concoction flows up through his nose and straight to his erect cock, straining in his jeans.</p><p>"Derek!"  Stiles' body begins to gesticulate wildly on the bed, his crotch being pulled in his alpha's direction as though tethered by lust.</p><p>"Uhh... guys?  What's going on?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shortest "Stiles, Why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" Sterek Fic Ever (Because Stuart Stilinski is a Blood Relation and Also Sick of Your Shit)

**Author's Note:**

> You know the drill beautiful babies!
> 
> Unbeta'd because brevity and blind hubris.
> 
> Gif via Tumblr

"Stiles!" Derek breathes in heavily, inhaling the scent of his mate. The cinnamon mixed with sweat concoction flows up through his nose and straight to his erect cock, straining in his jeans.

"Derek!" Stiles' body begins to gesticulate wildly on the bed, his crotch being pulled in his alpha's direction as though tethered by lust.

"Uhh... guys? What's going on?"

***

Stuart Stilinski's day went like this:

8am - Woke up alone in his room. Thought to himself (unwisely) ' _finally some peace and quiet! Maybe I'll call Boyd about starting that band._ '

8:20am - Stiles comes running back from some sort of Supernatural shenanigans.  He's exhausted and doesn't want to mess his bed up (he just made it! And he was not going to waste all that hard work just because some witch decided she wanted to fuck with them before bedtime), so he climbs in next to Stuart.  He wraps Stuart in his arms trapping the wide awake boy who is forced to troll internet sites on his laptop.

9am - His dad mercifully brings him an egg sandwich and a bottle of juice, knowing the ramifications of trying to jostle Stiles in his sleep. The only person who got away with it was Derek and that's because Derek would just lift him and throw him around and Stiles liked that.   _God_ his brother was a freak.

9:15am - Stuart has to pee.

9:30am -  _Dammit, Stiles!  Did that witch put a sleeping beauty spell on you?_

9:45am - Stuart pats his now empty bladder, but looks at the orange juice bottle and then his brother, with _disgust_.

10am -  _That's it, I don't care what happens, I'm getting-_

And before Stuart can finish that thought, their door is kicked open, startling Stiles awake.  Standing in the doorway is a giant, heaving WALL of a wolf who is looking at Stiles with flashing red eyes like he's a woodland creature with an ass that won't quit. 

"Alright, so... I'm gonna  _go."_ Stuart tries to pry himself from Stiles side, but Stiles is hanging on for dear life.  And also dry humping his leg.  Wait, what?

Derek's eyes snap to Stuart, hungrily, "No!  Stay."  Stuart looks at his brother's dilated pupils and lascivious grin.

"Oh my God, NO!"  He tries to get up again, but Derek's growl rears him back.  Stiles noses his neck while Derek begins to crawl slowly up the bed.

"Whoa there!  Down boy!  What is happening?! Did you take my shirt off?  How-"  Stiles looks up from where he's biting Stuart's collarbone and says simply,

"Sex pollen."  Stuart looks around confused until he notices a yellowish film all over Stiles' clothes and Derek's beard.  Fucking witches.

"Fucking witches!  Wait, when you came in you climbed all over me, does that mean I'm sex pollen'd too?  Oh my god, am I gonna wanna sex pollen with you?!"  Stuart whines as Stiles tongues his nipple.

"Just think of it as masturbation  _plus_!" Stiles offers while Stuart pinches his other nipple, completely ~~aroused~~ ashamed at himself.

"Stiles, don't touch my dick!"  Stuart pushes (or pulls, he really can't recall) at Stiles' head which he shakes (releasing more of the pollen into the air) and laughs.

"Bro, that's not me, that's you.  Well, and Derek, now."  Stuart looks down at his hands fondling his balls and guiding his cock into Derek's mouth.

"Oh  _shit_! This- this is happening, isn't it?  Is thi-" and he can't finish the word because all he can see is Stiles' ass heading towards his face. _  
_

"NO BUTT STUFF!"

"MOSTLY BUTT STUFF!"

 

Stuart will never admit to which of the phrases were yelled by him and Stiles has been a good brother honoring the "NEVER EVER MENTION THIS EVER IT DIDN'T HAPPEN STILES I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP YOUR BEAUTIFUL TONGUE OUT! _SHIT_!" code set between them.  Every now and again, Stuart does reminisce.  

Of course, only as a way to make sure he knows the signs of sex pollen in order to avoid them.  Of course.

 

"You know, I was half a virgin before that day." Stuart tells Stiles as they design a logo for their band.  

"No, you weren't."  Stiles says without batting an eye.  Stuart huffs.

"No, I wasn't."  Stiles looks at his twin, slightly surprised and mostly titillated.

"Really?  Who was your first?"

"Harley."  Stiles' face lights up.

"Oh my God, from Season 1- I mean umm.. _sophomore year_?"  Stuart nods fondly.

"Yup, I shared my tater tots and she shared her pie... guess which kind it was? I'll give you a hint, it's a fruit!"

Stiles rolls his eyes, "Uggh, you're disgusting."

Stuart flips off his younger (by 2 hrs, his brother was a brat from the very beginning) half before pointing at him.  

"You don't ever get to accuse me of being disgusting. I saw what your boyfriend did with that orange juice bottle!"

Derek laughs from the corner and gives Stuart a wink.  The older man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a packet of suspeiciously familiar yellow powder.  

"You know, I worked things out with that witch later and she gave me some of this as a consolation.  You guys don't have anything going on for the next few hours, right?"  Stiles quickly nods his head as Derek pours some in his hand.  Stuarts eyes widen and he gets up quickly running towards the loft door.  

"DEREK!  I SWEAR TO-"  

To this day, the stories vary as to whether _Stuart_ closed the door, or if the door closed on its own right before he was able to escape.  

Evidently there _are_ some mysteries in life that are unsolvable.  At least until the building security can clean up the footage.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to say that the views represented in this story in no way reflect the views of the author. (read: I am totally here for Stilinski twincest, especially when it involves Sterek (st!Sterek?))
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com)! That person that tried to get all up in your grill today? They just hate you cause they ain't you! Go on with your bad self!


End file.
